So this last little bit has been interesting. I didn't know things could be so insane. I guess this just means that I have a lot more growing to do first. I'm sure that something better is out there. Maybe we're just not right for each other anymore. But saying that still doesn't make it hurt any less. I know that my faith is what's keeping me sane right now, and that the knowledge that I'm a Daughter of God is what is holding my life together. I'm sure that the Lord has something or someone much different and better in store for me. And that does help a little
But why does it have to be like this? Three times now I have been sure that I was right. I prayed and meditated on it for such a long time. So why was I wrong again?! I thought that he felt the same for me. He showed me that he loved me, told me that he loved me. What could change that?! Was it something that I did?
What worries me most is the fact that I feel okay already. Does that mean I’m still numb or am I truly okay with it? Is it possible to be okay with this? I just hope that this won’t screw over my future relationships.
I need to go to sleep.
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