WELL CRAP. First off, whilst typing the title page, I managed to mess up my screen so I can't see the task bar. curse me for managing to do something I can't reverse. DANG IT!

AND second, the reason I decided to post was because, well, I have an issue again. Seems all I ever do is rant and rave but it's what happens.

I have a boyfriend. again. DANG IT!
I realized AFTER saying yes that I don't WANT to be in a relationship. not with him anyway. He's got nothing I want...He doesn't ever want to get married, hates kids, and despises religion. I like him a lot, but he and I are at different places in life. He's smart...INCREDIBLY smart, and has a wonderful sense of humor. I love to just sit next to him and talk. He really LISTENS to me. He tells me everything...bares his soul to me and I love it. It makes me feel so special and needed.

BUT.

He isn't Mormon...not in the least. I have NO problem dating nonmembers. I know I will ONLY marry in the temple, and besides....I'm WAY too young to start thinking marriage just yet. Not only does he not want to ever get married, but he doesn't think it's that important anyway. He'd rather me move in and just be his girlfriend than get married and potentially have a failed marriage. I think that is just about the most stupid thing I've ever heard. He thinks a party and a piece of paper is the definition of a wedding. I wanted to cry when he said that. He's not religious though so how could I explain it? I just changed the subject. It's not like I'd marry him anyway. There are other issues involved that I really don't feel like delving into over the internet. But it still really bothers me and he doesn't seem to get it.

In actuality, I don't want a boyfriend right now. I need to focus on my job right now. I need to prep myself for what's ahead. But I hate to lose his friendship and the companionship we share. I guess it's stupid but I both love and hate being single. Being single means that I can go out on a lot of dates, I can spend time with a lot of people, and I don't have to focus on one person. But it also means that sometimes I just gotta kick it solo. I don't MIND being alone, but I prefer to spend time with people. BUT. When I'm with a guy, I like being called, held, just TALKED to. I love it when people TALK to me. In fact, I love talking, but I love listening even more. I guess I'm still just not ready. But I don't want to hurt him and it would kill me to lose his friendship. =[
aejw;gohye;orifuje;irj'pihet;gowetoauhgz

ANNNND I HATE VALENTINES DAY!!!!! >>>>>--VALENTINE'S DAY---->