Update time.

-no news on Anthony yet. I have a firm suspicion he's hiding out with a friend somewhere.
-Still no job. Praying things will look up.
-signed up for five institute classes.
-HUGE progress in the whole no dating thing......I'm still GOING on dates, but I have decided that I won't really rush into anything serious any time soon. I need to figure out my own stuff before throwing a guy into the mix.
-I've been trying to pray more. I've noted many things that are going more in my benefit. =]
-guys are freaks.
-OH! Dead serious question here....Did you know that you aren't supposed to ask people if they need rides here?!?!?! It's fine in Tucson (usually) and in Thatcher (nearly always), but not here. I'm WAYYYY too naiive for my own good. =]
-nor are you allowed to walk around the temple at night if you value your life. Apparently it's a rough side of town.

Who can explain it, who can tell you why?

So this morning, I woke up feeling calm. Then I remembered that Anthony was gone, and I expected that gut wrenching, heart tearing feeling that i experienced when I woke the day after Melina died...For the first few weeks I was afraid of even going to bed because forgetting about it and sleeping meant even greater heartache when i awoke. I readied myself, expecting a wave of grief again. But this time, there was nothing like that. I felt only calm peace. I know that whatever happens, things are going to be okay. I'm still worried sick about it. I'm terrified about what the future may bring, but I know that things are going to turn out right.
Thank you for your prayers! I know that the Lord has a hand in all things and I and my family have felt it in ours in the last day and a half.

Now I'm scared.

I really need you to pray for my family. We're going through a very difficult time now.
My brother ran away today.
His name is Anthony and he's seventeen.
I'm so scared right now....I don't know if he'll be back or when, and I'm so worried about him. I'm trying hard not to let it consume everything, but right now, I'm so frightened and hurt that I can barely think! It's not totally sunk in yet...a part of me feels like he'll come back soon but the most part of me is torn up and screaming because I don't think he'll ever come home. I'm so afraid for him now.
I guess the closest thing I can compare it to is when Melina died. It's different though, because when she died, I knew. Even before I was told, I knew.
Right now, I have no knowledge other than the fact that he is gone. There is a messy, unoccupied room and a bed that might never be slept in again. I think the most difficult part is the unsurity. I'm so scared and it hurts so much!!!
There was a party. I should have just picked him up like I usually do, but this time, Mom got involved.
He was arrested and turned back over to us.
And then he left.
He blamed everything on me. Said that it was my fault he was caught. I know that it isn't, but for some reason I feel at least partially responsible. He needs help. I thought that maybe ratting him out would provide him with the help that he needs. But it didn't do anything! I hate the police sometimes. They don't do anything. They KNEW he was a flight risk. Why couldn't they just hold him overnight or something?! He obviously needs a wake-up call.
I don't know where he is or who he's with, but he can only stay away for so long without being caught.
I just hope that when they do find him, he's still alive.

INTENSE FRUSTRATION IS MINE!!!

NEVERMIND!
EVERYTHING IS FIXED!
orrrrr thereabouts.
Still got a few bugs to work out.
But i think we'll be okay
=] resolution is so sweet!!

Welllll

Hm.
That didn't turn out the way I had planned!
More details to follow eventually.
AND
I have never realized how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends. I am grateful beyond explanation for the people the Lord has brought into my life in varying ways. Some of them are pretty wonky ways but all the friends that I have are significant and bring something to my life that is irreplaceable.
I love you guys!