Rising above it all..

So there have been a lot of incredibly hurtful things that have been said about me in the last few months...I've just been made aware of these hurtful comments, and at first, I will admit, I was crushed. How could he lie to me for so long, pretending he cared and that he was my friend, when secretly he couldn't stand me?! How could she profess to be my bestie, when she's spreading around awful things? How could they BOTH go behind my back?? It took a lot of time alone, a large amount of it in tears, to realize that I am better than to let it destroy me. I can decide...right now...to let it go. And I have. I have let it go. It still stings to think that two of my best friends (or the people I believed to be my best friends), could be so terribly hurtful to me and so damaging to my reputation. It still aches to know that I can never return to EAC because of the awful rumors and terrible lies spread about that have so damaged other's perceptions of who I am. But I am no longer angry. I will no longer cry or let it consume me. I have a good job. I have friends here, and I have friends from EAC. Joycie has always been a true friend. Ethan has always been a true friend. I have many true friends from EAC that will continue to hold special places in my life.
The afformentioned unnamed people are still important to me. They have both requested space. I will give them both what they want, however much it might hurt me to do so. I will miss you both. However, I understand and will comply to your requests. I'd like to say that I'm glad to see you both go, but that is a lie. I am not glad to lose your friendships. I've grown a lot because of both of you, I've become a stronger person, a better person, and I've learned so much from both of you. One of you mentioned that you didn't feel as though you had benefitted me in any way by being my friend. Let me now say that you are entirely wrong. I have gained so much from our friendship. We shared so much...it hurts that you would dismiss and disregard that so easily, but I cling to those memories. The picture of us still hangs on my wall and it will remain there, a sweet memory of a best friend. The trips that we took and the escapades and Ice-capades will be sweet recollections. Bushy Toilets and the inability to wait for nine miles will always make me smile. Every time I hear the word Foliage, I am required to laugh. I will not think about the negative aspects of our friendship when I think about you. What would the point of that be? There are a lot of negative things in life...but if we were to focus all our time and attention on those negative things, what a sad, angry world this would be!! I want to think about the positives of my life. There are a lot of bad things that have happened to me...A LOT...but I do not allow them to take over and control my actions.
So friends, for now, take care of yourselves. Remember that I do care for you both so very much. I forgive you for anything that may have been said, and beg your forgiveness for anything you feel that I have wronged you in. I pray that the silence between us will be able to heal wounds and that we will be able to become friends again.
To Quote one of you..."I need you to make me a promise. I need you to promise that no matter where lie takes you, no matter what this world throws at you that you will never lose your testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. Promise me that you'll continue to go to church, that you'll marry in the temple, that you'll raise your children in the gospel, and that you'll never forget who you are and what you stand for. Eternity is a long time to be without my best friend." To her, I promise. I swore it then and I swear it now. During my darkest times in the recent past, I have clung to that promise that I had made to you months ago, promising myself that if not for my sake but for yours that I would do those things. I've slipped many times. I've made enormous mistakes, but I am certain that with time and the wonderful gift of the Atonement, that I will be able to uphold those promises. I urge you to promise those same things...if not to me, then to yourself. I do still love you, my friend. I always will and I pray for your safety and happiness.
To the other, I hope and pray that you will uphold your promise as well. I needn't write it here because you know exactly what I am talking about. Please cling to that promise, if not for yourself, then for your family, friends, and for me. I care about you so much. I always have and I always will. Please take care of yourself and do your best to find happiness in every situation that life may put you in.
Farewell for now, friends. I hope our distance is short and that the silence between us will soon be removed. But until then, Take care.
Love,
Mayra