Wow.

So the dance was interesting.
To say the verrrry least.
Levi is incredible. He is one of the greatest guys I've ever met. I love to talk to him...He's terribly funny and just seems to understand me. I love that he isn't mushy or gross like that and that he's real. After having people fawn all over me in the last little bit here, It's a relief. I would write more regarding Levi, but since he is sitting right behind me, I probably should just leave it at that. =]
the dance itself was great. I had a blast just being in Levi's arms and showing him off to my Tucson people. He looked so handsome in his suit and I'm not gonna lie, I looked pretty hot myself. I loved the way I felt in the dress, although it was a tad too tight because I can sure afford to lose ten or fifty pounds =D
There was an awful lot of drama and strive leading up to the whole dance but overall, I had so much fun! I had a bit of a tiff with one of my friends that left me in tears, another occurance that left me thirsty for the blood of another, and heartbreak over something that happened to the third at the hands of the second. It's complicated, I know, but it was interesting.

On a completely different note.
I have to earn four THOUSAND dollars by January if I'm going to go to the Ukraine like planned. I'm so nervous about leaving now!!
It's ironic the turns and twists that my life has taken. If things had all gone according to plans, I would have been married by now. I wouldn't be in Arizona, much less Thatcher. I would have done so many things differently, and I'm not too sure if I would be as happy as I am now.
I have learned so many lessons in my life. Some were easy to learn and didn't hurt very much. Others were like trying to remove teeth with a Philips screwdriver. In the last three days or so, I've seriously evaluated my life. Where I'm at as opposed to where I was a year ago this time. Last year, this time, I was trying to mend my broken life after one of the most crushingly painful disappointments I've ever experienced. I was slacking in High school and disregarding the advice and warning counsel of my YW leaders. A year ago, I was preparing myself for some of the biggest changes in my life thus far. I was deciding what I would do, and I was convinced I knew exactly what I wanted. Seven months ago, I nearly lost every dream that I had decided that I was set on. I didn't get to walk in graduation, which was a humiliating failure. My mother, the sweet, gentle woman she is, told me that she was ashamed to call me her daughter. She told me that she had wasted the last eighteen years of her life on a complete loser. "You may as well just run off and get married to the first bum that you find, since that's all you'll amount to," were her comforting words of advice. *sarcasm* So I worked three times harder than I have ever worked in my life to get my diploma. I took summer school and got the highest grade in the class. Take THAT, Stensrud!!!
Six months ago, I was engaged. I was ready to drop every dream that I had formed of going to Russia or to College at EA for the boy that I was certain was the right man for me. I was so prepared to do whatever it took just to get married. But I got scared. A nightmare and a shocking remembrance of the pains that I had suffered at the hands of another sent me running full speed for the hills. August came and I ran away from my problems, and into the comforting town of Thatcher. There I met some of the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I've learned so much about myself and about who I am as a person. I've got a lot of growing to do, but I've also grown more than I ever imagined possible. In my wildest dreams I never would have thought that I would be at the place that I find myself today, surrounded by the people that I have come to love dearly.
I know so much more about my faith. I have a very firm testimony in the Lord, and His plans for me. I know that the things that I have been taught since birth will be the things that if adhered to will bring me true joy and happiness. I know that sinning is the surest way to bring heartache and pain. But I also know that Repentance is real and the power thereof is so strong. I have been relieved of pain that I never imagined that I could endure. I have come to realize how weak, how fallable and small we as humans are. It astonishes me that I managed to live for two full years without the Spirit. I turned my back on all that I had been taught, believing it to be a hindrance, a roadblock to happiness and fun. It wasn't until I reached the darkest point in my life that I finally turned to the Lord in desperation, pleading for salve to ease the ache that filled my soul. And He gave me that relief. He allowed me to suffer so that I would know how sweet the soothing balm of His Spirit truly was. I know that the Holy Ghost has so many facets. I've had the gift of the Holy Ghost since I was eight, but I guess I never really looked at the Holy Ghost's GIFTS. When I felt most alone, on nights when I couldn't sleep and the pain seemed unbearable, I was given a companion. On days when I felt the most excruciating suffocation of the world's pressures closing in around me, I felt my burden lightened. When I was unsure of myself, I was given a Witness of the divinity from whence I came. When I felt lost and afraid, I was comforted by the assurance that I was loved and that things would ALWAYS work out. I have grown intellectually throught the Patient tutoring of the Holy Ghost.
So, I guess my ramblings aren't totally nonsensical, nor do they make total coherent sense either.
Just like me.
But I know more about who I am and what makes me that way.
Annnnd I'm tired