Just for Schuyler.

This will be removed, lest a few sweet girls see their gifts too soon!!! The green is for Aimee, The Pink is for Sweet Libby, and I have yet to make the Rosey Pink for Sister Tolman. AND if ELDER TOLMAN would flipping tell me whether Jordan Lives with them, I think another scarf will be in order!! lol

My Plan of Salvation Analogy

So I have been thinking a lot. And I came up with this in Institute a while back and now I have written it down to remember. This is my Uhhh, It's A Rock vs. Yay, I'm a Seed! Analogy. This is how I wrote it down and shared it with a good friend of mine.
Okay. Satan had a plan. It sounded pretty good, right? Well we'd all GET bodies. And we'd all end up back with Heavenly Father (theoretically, of course).
But we wouldn't grow or learn or sin or have any reason for repentance or the Atonement. And what would we be? The same as always.
rocks

Christ. He had such a beautiful plan...
We start out about the same as a rock.
But with Infinite potential. The ability to grow and be nurtured and become a HUGE Redwood.
Some of us might fall onto hard times and turn away from the sunlight. But if we fill our minds and spirits with the Holy Ghost, with the teachings of the Gospel, and turn towards the Sunlight of Christ, we will have infinite potential.
And trees don't just stop at the huge big leafy things with massive trunks either!
Oh, no.
They also produce seeds. which also have infinite potential. They have the ability to become other trees. And by doing so, the first tree, the once very small little seed...can be eternal.
And another thing that I love to liken to the Gospel is that with Plants, sometimes you forget to water or take them out into the sunlight.
And they start to wilt.
But you can almost always revive them. Just like the plants, if we don't feed our spirits, we start to wilt. But unlike plants, which sometimes die after too much time in the dry dark, we always have the opportunity to revive, if we just turn to the Lord.
I love that concept. It really is never too late.

WELL CRAP. First off, whilst typing the title page, I managed to mess up my screen so I can't see the task bar. curse me for managing to do something I can't reverse. DANG IT!

AND second, the reason I decided to post was because, well, I have an issue again. Seems all I ever do is rant and rave but it's what happens.

I have a boyfriend. again. DANG IT!
I realized AFTER saying yes that I don't WANT to be in a relationship. not with him anyway. He's got nothing I want...He doesn't ever want to get married, hates kids, and despises religion. I like him a lot, but he and I are at different places in life. He's smart...INCREDIBLY smart, and has a wonderful sense of humor. I love to just sit next to him and talk. He really LISTENS to me. He tells me everything...bares his soul to me and I love it. It makes me feel so special and needed.

BUT.

He isn't Mormon...not in the least. I have NO problem dating nonmembers. I know I will ONLY marry in the temple, and besides....I'm WAY too young to start thinking marriage just yet. Not only does he not want to ever get married, but he doesn't think it's that important anyway. He'd rather me move in and just be his girlfriend than get married and potentially have a failed marriage. I think that is just about the most stupid thing I've ever heard. He thinks a party and a piece of paper is the definition of a wedding. I wanted to cry when he said that. He's not religious though so how could I explain it? I just changed the subject. It's not like I'd marry him anyway. There are other issues involved that I really don't feel like delving into over the internet. But it still really bothers me and he doesn't seem to get it.

In actuality, I don't want a boyfriend right now. I need to focus on my job right now. I need to prep myself for what's ahead. But I hate to lose his friendship and the companionship we share. I guess it's stupid but I both love and hate being single. Being single means that I can go out on a lot of dates, I can spend time with a lot of people, and I don't have to focus on one person. But it also means that sometimes I just gotta kick it solo. I don't MIND being alone, but I prefer to spend time with people. BUT. When I'm with a guy, I like being called, held, just TALKED to. I love it when people TALK to me. In fact, I love talking, but I love listening even more. I guess I'm still just not ready. But I don't want to hurt him and it would kill me to lose his friendship. =[
aejw;gohye;orifuje;irj'pihet;gowetoauhgz

ANNNND I HATE VALENTINES DAY!!!!! >>>>>--VALENTINE'S DAY---->

Update time.

-no news on Anthony yet. I have a firm suspicion he's hiding out with a friend somewhere.
-Still no job. Praying things will look up.
-signed up for five institute classes.
-HUGE progress in the whole no dating thing......I'm still GOING on dates, but I have decided that I won't really rush into anything serious any time soon. I need to figure out my own stuff before throwing a guy into the mix.
-I've been trying to pray more. I've noted many things that are going more in my benefit. =]
-guys are freaks.
-OH! Dead serious question here....Did you know that you aren't supposed to ask people if they need rides here?!?!?! It's fine in Tucson (usually) and in Thatcher (nearly always), but not here. I'm WAYYYY too naiive for my own good. =]
-nor are you allowed to walk around the temple at night if you value your life. Apparently it's a rough side of town.

Who can explain it, who can tell you why?

So this morning, I woke up feeling calm. Then I remembered that Anthony was gone, and I expected that gut wrenching, heart tearing feeling that i experienced when I woke the day after Melina died...For the first few weeks I was afraid of even going to bed because forgetting about it and sleeping meant even greater heartache when i awoke. I readied myself, expecting a wave of grief again. But this time, there was nothing like that. I felt only calm peace. I know that whatever happens, things are going to be okay. I'm still worried sick about it. I'm terrified about what the future may bring, but I know that things are going to turn out right.
Thank you for your prayers! I know that the Lord has a hand in all things and I and my family have felt it in ours in the last day and a half.

Now I'm scared.

I really need you to pray for my family. We're going through a very difficult time now.
My brother ran away today.
His name is Anthony and he's seventeen.
I'm so scared right now....I don't know if he'll be back or when, and I'm so worried about him. I'm trying hard not to let it consume everything, but right now, I'm so frightened and hurt that I can barely think! It's not totally sunk in yet...a part of me feels like he'll come back soon but the most part of me is torn up and screaming because I don't think he'll ever come home. I'm so afraid for him now.
I guess the closest thing I can compare it to is when Melina died. It's different though, because when she died, I knew. Even before I was told, I knew.
Right now, I have no knowledge other than the fact that he is gone. There is a messy, unoccupied room and a bed that might never be slept in again. I think the most difficult part is the unsurity. I'm so scared and it hurts so much!!!
There was a party. I should have just picked him up like I usually do, but this time, Mom got involved.
He was arrested and turned back over to us.
And then he left.
He blamed everything on me. Said that it was my fault he was caught. I know that it isn't, but for some reason I feel at least partially responsible. He needs help. I thought that maybe ratting him out would provide him with the help that he needs. But it didn't do anything! I hate the police sometimes. They don't do anything. They KNEW he was a flight risk. Why couldn't they just hold him overnight or something?! He obviously needs a wake-up call.
I don't know where he is or who he's with, but he can only stay away for so long without being caught.
I just hope that when they do find him, he's still alive.

INTENSE FRUSTRATION IS MINE!!!

NEVERMIND!
EVERYTHING IS FIXED!
orrrrr thereabouts.
Still got a few bugs to work out.
But i think we'll be okay
=] resolution is so sweet!!